Post by Ricki Jace on Oct 27, 2013 20:13:09 GMT -5
SOLO CATCHING
JUST SO YOU KNOW
Yay for finding a use for my random muse bursts
Yay for finding a use for my random muse bursts
Richelle Jace was not the kind of person to sit back and actually think about deep shit, or that’s what many assumed. No, the world saw her as a wild card, someone ready to run out and cause some trouble for a quick buzz. Was that true now? No, she had calmed down; she was pretty tame, actually. But, a year ago? She chuckled to herself as she knew that was so accurate it was cringe worthy. Honestly, Ricki didn’t give a fuck at that time. The world could burn, but as long as it didn’t affect her or those close to her? Forget the world. Selfish, childish, what a waste of space she was, or that’s what she was sure the world thought of her at the time. Over and over, her mind went back to those times… The mistakes she’d made, the people she’d hurt.
It had been so long, didn’t time heal all wounds? That’s how that stupid saying went, right? After all this time, wasn’t she supposed to get over it, move on with her life and just keep moving forward? Maybe she should’ve never bothered with getting into the philosophical bullshit, but when she was always by herself, what choice did she have? As a child, it was the television that distracted her, and then it was manga, anime, and video games. As a teenager, she had friends that would never let her sit and wilt away in that ever growing depression. She’d never really felt alone up until recently. Maybe it was because at the time, she’d never love and lost. She’d never known what it was like to have someone so close to her that when she lost them, she’d really never know what to do without them…
“Pathetic” she muttered to herself. It was just one of those days in which she remembered how horrible of a person she was, and just how terribly weak she was. Always walking around with her head held so high like she was some strong and proud bitch who didn’t give a fuck about how the world looked at her. It was all a lie, though. She even let out another small chuckle as she considered how terrible of a lie it was. Didn’t give a fuck? Didn’t care? Who was she trying to fool the world, or herself? Well, maybe it was both… Ricki didn’t know anymore at this point. The time she was, according to the world, supposed to spend finding herself, the young woman had done nothing but lived a lie.
So, strong? Was she strong? What about her made her seem like a strong person? It was probably the fact no one saw her during those long late nights anymore that they all had this delusion that Ricki was a tough person. The thought cued another harsh laugh from her. Ricki couldn’t lie to save her life, and yet she’d managed to pull this off! Her mask had worked, no one knew how weak she was, how much of a coward she was! No one saw the woman who wanted to run away from everything. It wasn’t like she hadn’t run away before; in fact that’s what she almost always did! She ran away from home, from someone who depended on her for sanity, from her region, from someone she’d loved! She ran away like a coward, and they called her strong. No one knew that on the inside she wanted nothing more than to stop trying. Time and time again Ricki would briefly consider the idea that maybe the world was better off without her. After she saw how much damage her careless actions could cause, why should she be allowed to stay on this world anyways?
“I don’t think you’re a lost cause, because I see determination in your eyes.”
She sat up from the grassy ground like a jolt of lightning had gone through her. She gritted her teeth and her body became rigid like suddenly she was freezing in the chill of the coldest winter. Her hair had fallen hiding her face before her hands raised up to do it instead. Forget, Ricki, forget and move forward, she plead fruitlessly to herself. Like she could ever forget the words of that man, though, after trying so many times she knew by now it was a lost cause. “Fuck you, damn it…” she muttered weakly, shaking her head as the memories came back like a freight train. The words of a man she once trusted, a man she admired, dare say loved? He’d been the one to spark her change, to give her some hope that maybe… Maybe she was worth something. That maybe she could make something of herself! Her inspiration, her desire to be something more had come from a man who’d gone mad, hurt her, done things that would never be okay. The man she loathed was the one who’d help her start changing. Ricki could feel her body growing restless with forced down frustrations, and it began to even move by itself, her weight shifting to her knees, before she found herself up on her feet.
“I never thought you’d be such a crybaby.”
Her heart stopped and Ricki’s hands slowly fell from her face. Time healing all wounds? Bullshit. “Great” she suddenly growled, turning on her heel in the middle of the forest’s clearing. “Now I’ve gone and pissed myself off” she muttered as she just simply smacked a pokeball on her hip. With a flash of red, a Pokémon was released beside her and it smoothly rose to a stand revealing himself to be her notorious Lucario. There wasn’t a word uttered between the two as Ricki suddenly whirled around to start throwing punches at him. He deflected them, maneuvering with the intent to avoid being struck but not bothering to strike back. This had become an ongoing theme lately… For a long time, Ricki would run around blindly trying to hit him, knowing full well that no matter what she did she never would, and Rep merely moved with it. She could vent, release her built up frustration, and no one got hurt. This time would end no different than the last time, as well. When one of her punches flew past his head, she suddenly stopped to coil her arm around Rep’s head and tug him close. Being pulled into the embrace, the Lucario stood still was Ricki crumbled before him.
“What do they want from me?” she begged, desperately clinging to Rep. “Why am I the tough one? Don’t they see it? I’m nothing. I-I’m just a pathetic, useless crybaby” she cried into the Pokémon’s chest. Soothingly, Rep petted his trainer’s head as she would do for him when he was frustrated. His other paw moved to her belt to release her other Pokémon as well. For a while, Ricki didn’t even notice it, until feeling the heat of Cinder’s flames. Crying so hard, lost in her pain and misery, she hadn’t realized that they were there… Her eyes slowly slid open to look down at the Pokémon. Gently she released Rep to rub her eyes and look around her at her small gang of Pokémon. Her eyes drifted over each and every one of them before coming to a stop on Breezy, her Bulbasaur and originally a gift of her ex-husband. During the divorce, Ricki was sure she’d hurt that Bulbasaur in the process. Fighting over custody, fighting over many things and ultimately leaving the Pokémon to decide who she preferred, and in the end Ricki was shocked the Pokémon had stayed with her. Her hand rested tenderly on the Pokémon’s head as a weak chuckle escaped her.
“He always saw right through me, didn’t he?” she asked, before feeling the cool touch of her Bulbasaur’s vine caressing her cheek. Wiping away her tears, the Bulbasaur uttered a quiet apologetic noise before being picked up and brought over to Ricki’s embrace. She nuzzled her Pokémon, smiling sadly as her team moved to nuzzle up against her as well. “Thank you… Thank you for being my Pokémon.” Her eyes opened slightly, a fire seeming to ignite in her golden gaze. “I’ll make it up to all of you, I promise” she mumbled, before looking up at Rep. The Lucario had stood before her, merely watching the others of their rag-tag team comfort their trainer. When her tear stained face locked on him with an old fiery determination, Rep seemed to smile and nod at her to show he understood. “We’re all going to get stronger” she assured, setting Breezy down so she could get back up. “We’re going to get somewhere, be somebody. Even though, right now, I don’t know where that place is, and I don’t know who I’ll be, but I’ll be damned if I just run away, again” she commented, and pulled her phone from her pocket to check the time.
“It’s late, guys, but are we up for some training? It’s been a while since we’ve done some real training, after all” she commented, smirking at her Pokémon. The group cheered enthusiastically at the idea and immediately the once quiet forest was alive with the sounds of battle and a reignited passion. While this buzz, this self-induced confidence was honestly just a temporary joy, it helped her keep walking, keep moving forward. Was she weak? Maybe, but there was a strength in her, too. She had the power to stand back up, even after the world broke her, again and again. If the world wanted her to stay down once and for all… It was going to have to try a little harder.
For hours, the group simply trained, the sky gradually getting darker before finally it was time to start heading back. Returning almost all of her Pokémon but her Lucario to their pokeballs, Ricki was exhausted and ready to call it a night. Her temporary travel companion, Jason, probably had no idea she was still out and about at this hour. The guy was pretty nice and patent, albeit he was a little awkward, but nothing too bad. She smiled to herself as she thought about her new friend and slowly shook her head. Rep glanced at her with a quirked brow, before finding his trainer grabbing his head and making him look back forward. “Just lead us back to the city, Rep” she yawned.
It had been so long, didn’t time heal all wounds? That’s how that stupid saying went, right? After all this time, wasn’t she supposed to get over it, move on with her life and just keep moving forward? Maybe she should’ve never bothered with getting into the philosophical bullshit, but when she was always by herself, what choice did she have? As a child, it was the television that distracted her, and then it was manga, anime, and video games. As a teenager, she had friends that would never let her sit and wilt away in that ever growing depression. She’d never really felt alone up until recently. Maybe it was because at the time, she’d never love and lost. She’d never known what it was like to have someone so close to her that when she lost them, she’d really never know what to do without them…
“Pathetic” she muttered to herself. It was just one of those days in which she remembered how horrible of a person she was, and just how terribly weak she was. Always walking around with her head held so high like she was some strong and proud bitch who didn’t give a fuck about how the world looked at her. It was all a lie, though. She even let out another small chuckle as she considered how terrible of a lie it was. Didn’t give a fuck? Didn’t care? Who was she trying to fool the world, or herself? Well, maybe it was both… Ricki didn’t know anymore at this point. The time she was, according to the world, supposed to spend finding herself, the young woman had done nothing but lived a lie.
So, strong? Was she strong? What about her made her seem like a strong person? It was probably the fact no one saw her during those long late nights anymore that they all had this delusion that Ricki was a tough person. The thought cued another harsh laugh from her. Ricki couldn’t lie to save her life, and yet she’d managed to pull this off! Her mask had worked, no one knew how weak she was, how much of a coward she was! No one saw the woman who wanted to run away from everything. It wasn’t like she hadn’t run away before; in fact that’s what she almost always did! She ran away from home, from someone who depended on her for sanity, from her region, from someone she’d loved! She ran away like a coward, and they called her strong. No one knew that on the inside she wanted nothing more than to stop trying. Time and time again Ricki would briefly consider the idea that maybe the world was better off without her. After she saw how much damage her careless actions could cause, why should she be allowed to stay on this world anyways?
“I don’t think you’re a lost cause, because I see determination in your eyes.”
She sat up from the grassy ground like a jolt of lightning had gone through her. She gritted her teeth and her body became rigid like suddenly she was freezing in the chill of the coldest winter. Her hair had fallen hiding her face before her hands raised up to do it instead. Forget, Ricki, forget and move forward, she plead fruitlessly to herself. Like she could ever forget the words of that man, though, after trying so many times she knew by now it was a lost cause. “Fuck you, damn it…” she muttered weakly, shaking her head as the memories came back like a freight train. The words of a man she once trusted, a man she admired, dare say loved? He’d been the one to spark her change, to give her some hope that maybe… Maybe she was worth something. That maybe she could make something of herself! Her inspiration, her desire to be something more had come from a man who’d gone mad, hurt her, done things that would never be okay. The man she loathed was the one who’d help her start changing. Ricki could feel her body growing restless with forced down frustrations, and it began to even move by itself, her weight shifting to her knees, before she found herself up on her feet.
“I never thought you’d be such a crybaby.”
Her heart stopped and Ricki’s hands slowly fell from her face. Time healing all wounds? Bullshit. “Great” she suddenly growled, turning on her heel in the middle of the forest’s clearing. “Now I’ve gone and pissed myself off” she muttered as she just simply smacked a pokeball on her hip. With a flash of red, a Pokémon was released beside her and it smoothly rose to a stand revealing himself to be her notorious Lucario. There wasn’t a word uttered between the two as Ricki suddenly whirled around to start throwing punches at him. He deflected them, maneuvering with the intent to avoid being struck but not bothering to strike back. This had become an ongoing theme lately… For a long time, Ricki would run around blindly trying to hit him, knowing full well that no matter what she did she never would, and Rep merely moved with it. She could vent, release her built up frustration, and no one got hurt. This time would end no different than the last time, as well. When one of her punches flew past his head, she suddenly stopped to coil her arm around Rep’s head and tug him close. Being pulled into the embrace, the Lucario stood still was Ricki crumbled before him.
“What do they want from me?” she begged, desperately clinging to Rep. “Why am I the tough one? Don’t they see it? I’m nothing. I-I’m just a pathetic, useless crybaby” she cried into the Pokémon’s chest. Soothingly, Rep petted his trainer’s head as she would do for him when he was frustrated. His other paw moved to her belt to release her other Pokémon as well. For a while, Ricki didn’t even notice it, until feeling the heat of Cinder’s flames. Crying so hard, lost in her pain and misery, she hadn’t realized that they were there… Her eyes slowly slid open to look down at the Pokémon. Gently she released Rep to rub her eyes and look around her at her small gang of Pokémon. Her eyes drifted over each and every one of them before coming to a stop on Breezy, her Bulbasaur and originally a gift of her ex-husband. During the divorce, Ricki was sure she’d hurt that Bulbasaur in the process. Fighting over custody, fighting over many things and ultimately leaving the Pokémon to decide who she preferred, and in the end Ricki was shocked the Pokémon had stayed with her. Her hand rested tenderly on the Pokémon’s head as a weak chuckle escaped her.
“He always saw right through me, didn’t he?” she asked, before feeling the cool touch of her Bulbasaur’s vine caressing her cheek. Wiping away her tears, the Bulbasaur uttered a quiet apologetic noise before being picked up and brought over to Ricki’s embrace. She nuzzled her Pokémon, smiling sadly as her team moved to nuzzle up against her as well. “Thank you… Thank you for being my Pokémon.” Her eyes opened slightly, a fire seeming to ignite in her golden gaze. “I’ll make it up to all of you, I promise” she mumbled, before looking up at Rep. The Lucario had stood before her, merely watching the others of their rag-tag team comfort their trainer. When her tear stained face locked on him with an old fiery determination, Rep seemed to smile and nod at her to show he understood. “We’re all going to get stronger” she assured, setting Breezy down so she could get back up. “We’re going to get somewhere, be somebody. Even though, right now, I don’t know where that place is, and I don’t know who I’ll be, but I’ll be damned if I just run away, again” she commented, and pulled her phone from her pocket to check the time.
“It’s late, guys, but are we up for some training? It’s been a while since we’ve done some real training, after all” she commented, smirking at her Pokémon. The group cheered enthusiastically at the idea and immediately the once quiet forest was alive with the sounds of battle and a reignited passion. While this buzz, this self-induced confidence was honestly just a temporary joy, it helped her keep walking, keep moving forward. Was she weak? Maybe, but there was a strength in her, too. She had the power to stand back up, even after the world broke her, again and again. If the world wanted her to stay down once and for all… It was going to have to try a little harder.
For hours, the group simply trained, the sky gradually getting darker before finally it was time to start heading back. Returning almost all of her Pokémon but her Lucario to their pokeballs, Ricki was exhausted and ready to call it a night. Her temporary travel companion, Jason, probably had no idea she was still out and about at this hour. The guy was pretty nice and patent, albeit he was a little awkward, but nothing too bad. She smiled to herself as she thought about her new friend and slowly shook her head. Rep glanced at her with a quirked brow, before finding his trainer grabbing his head and making him look back forward. “Just lead us back to the city, Rep” she yawned.
. . . !
